Okay everyone, I know my life on DA has been pretty dead lately so I just thought I should put some interest back into my page. This time not with art, but more of a me opening up to you kind of deal
About my life.
Sure things were never easy for me because I was never the smartest or the prettiest girl when growing up, but I did succeed with two things. One was with Art and the other Love.
Instead of just blabbing along with a big ol life story, I thought I would add some doodles in just for fun
I drew this first image during my first year in Uni (you can see the difference in the previous one I did today-two years later)
This was my getting out of old childish ways kind of stage. My feeble attempt at (trying) to be girly even though I knew I was just the girl with a flat chest, looked boyish and had caterpillar brows. Yes...they were slugs on my face XD
Yet somehow I managed to get several boyfriends, nothing ever went past a quick kiss or a hand holding as I was always the one who ended up getting dumped. It was a rollercoaster of emotions for me and whenever it happened, it was as if someone had left the tap running. However by the end of my year 8, during the summer I met with another guy. Garvey. Same school bus, same age, all around nice guy. We met up at the local fair and started dating. That summer with him was all that I needed, sure it wasn't love at first but I liked him...alot.
Summer had ended and I was in a new relationship. He was just the pickup I needed, thus with a guy on my arm I for some reason thought that "making an effort" was unnecessary, keeping my look casual (more like too too comfy) XD Never the less he liked me still. Although what we had was great, we were in love puppy mode, leading my friends to sculk on about how I did not spend time with them anymore (which in a sense was true). Not only that but this was the year....that the dreaded puberty set into motion. I finally had hips, a slightly less flat chest and the lovely gift of hurt once a month. Unfortunately the boys who also started to change, started to change their attitudes. I was called names about my eyebrows,face and the mustasha for something you can guess. This led to Garvey getting into fights to defend me and occasionally getting the fair few detentions. Life was good, but it had it's horrid moments. We had our first holiday together Garvey and I, and it was the best moment of that year.
Still rocking the brows and size A cups I went for the florescent kind of life. I became in love with bright colours. I have no idea why but I recon it was because of my love life and drawing activity. Wearing proudly the necklace I got my 14th birthday I felt comfortable in my looks. Finally wearing eyeshadow for the first time, I felt more mature. Yet even with hint of colour I was never the popular one. Just the girl who was the uglier older sister of my other, who looked like a barbie doll at 13. Becoming quite, getting distracted from classes, drawing was my way out. Things at home were getting a bit heated as well, noticing my parents relationship breaking was hard, but it hadn't got so bad as of yet. Garvey was there to support me, even when we too had our rough patches, including a stupid jealous moment when I drank too much on a scotland trip....in front of his family....Awkward doesn't sum it up.....at all XD But it was A OK afterwards
Oh yes, the boyish/goth/emo phase had finally kicked in. I loved the dark artwork and brands as well as funky converses. Skulls and death were my thing, even though my personality was upbeat and chill. Old friendship groups had worn away at the chains, myself realising that I hated being in a friend circle where my "best friend" was actually a bossy bitch who would use me and seem to never care what I thought. Sure I had the one actual friend in that group of four but looking back now I don't know why I put up with her crap. I think it was because I liked getting on with everyone, even if it made me feel less inside. I cared more about others than myself. By this age, there was a pressure on mine and Garvey's relationship. Many of our friend were doing the deed and we weren't. We tried once but I wasn't ready, with the following day of my old friend telling me she had done it at 15 (which I thought was too young anyway but ah well). With the constant questioning I felt like I was't giving enough, but we remained in love. No matter how people nagged us. Even though it was good year, by May it had was the worst. I had suddenly lost Gumpy (my grandad), I lovable swearing welsh Gumpy to Diabetes. It was so hard to deal with, there isn't a time where I don't think of him...I loved him so much, his death was the hardest thing I ever had to deal with in my life.
(This is now my most recent doodle)
Starting sixth form, the big jump from GCSEs to A levels. A scary time yet a good one. Along the way I managed to make a new good group of friends, kind of a random mix of characters who all had something in common, nerdiness (I would say), and it worked out.Finally stepping up to the plate, I actually got the courage to wear eyeliner ( I was scared I would poke my eye out or something), and when I put it on, a major confidence boost set in. With the new eyes, I had to do something about my brows. Waxing was an option for a while, so plucking was the solution. They were smaller and thinner, but at the time I loved them (trust me,they got worse in the future).
At sixth form we all expected to be treated as adults, boy were we wrong. The teachers talked down to us still and the 13 years olds weren't even scared. Ughhh disappointment was in mind and we all regretted not going straight to college.
With this in mind my art was doing well, predicted good grades and life was swell. Garvey and I remained strong as friends in couples around us dwindled in their love. Though love was good, things at home were not. Mum and Dad were on rock bottom and he and my sister were too. Returning home to this was awful. This was the time I left to live with my boyfriend. Not only that, but because they were the healthy types, I went from almost 11 stone to 9 stone in no time. Even though it was a great year, it was my last being with my friend Rebecca. She was moving away so we had to make the time together last, going on a photo fest like the fools we were XD.
Final year in school, an adult at long last and I was looking forward to it. Spending time with my good friends and other half. Studying hard and being more one with my nerdy, skull loving girly side. I felt better and looked better. I was actually trying to look nice, yet this boost fell flat when told I was the ugly sister, someone I knew did not realise my sister and I were related, she referred to her was the "hot good looking one". Oh yes, she said it to my face. It hurt alot but with my man still with me, I shrugged it off... mostly. By January we had finally "gone through with it", and we both were glad we had waited it out for so long. Being an adult and putting out what was much better than having done it at 15-16...wayyyy better.
All things aside, I became more outdoorsy and adventurous, going out for walks with his family. His parents acted the way parents should acted...in love. And it took that first year of living with Garvey that my parents had lost their love years before. Still, it was a surprize when my mum told me that dad had cheated. Another pill that was hard to swallow, and upsetting for our family. I strayed away but in time still got to see mum.
First year going to University, still with the other half we remained inseparable. Taking Fine Art, I fit in well with my peers and slowly took on the name of Panda....the hat was both a blessing and a curse. Drawing the nude was soon nothing but the norm to me, getting used to the idea was odd but we all came around. I reinvent myself, almost for the better except I made my eyebrows look like two thin short lines that were too far apart. Looking back at it pictures, I am glad I chose to wear my hat to hide them all the time...well done past Natasha, well done. Living in a shared flat was fine, met good people and fit in well. My room was pfretty good so smothering it with posters seemed like the legit thing to do. Working and Drink was now the student norm and I never felt more adult in my life. Looking after ourselves without parents around was great, so refreshing.
By Valentines day, my man Garvey got on one knee and proposed. Best night of my life because I said yes. I was so happy I couldn't contain myself.
Moving into a couples flat my fiancé and I set the date for June 6th 2015. Life was wonderful, my brows were better and my hair was extremely long. Nothing could go wrong. That was the case mostly....except for the few people who didn't fully support the idea of us married. ... my dad, my aunt (his sis) and my grandma (his mum). But everyone else in the loop said screw the haters, so with their words we ignored the hate. It proved to be not a problem for a while,I was doing well with Uni, Garvey had changed tover a better course, we had found and booked the reception...all good. Until dad told me he wouldn't pay for it ( for personal reasons). With strings lf arguments with fanily over the long period before the wedding, changed were made and the wedding turned out to be the best day of our lives. Even though few disapproved, many supported and with that we became Man and Wife. Things later got even better when my grades were Firsts for my second year ( woo! Aiming high).
Well there isn't much to tell at the moment, married life is great. Only been 21 since September and the only bad news I had was one of my good friends changed uni and one drifted away. Luckily I still have two very close ones and many others left to chat to so it's not all doom and gloom. Ughhh our flat is so tiny and annoying, the neighbours above are determined to punch their ways through our ceiling but hey... What's life without a few "issues" XD